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22 Feb

How to be intentional with the people you love

Written by Cloé Vaz-Wiggins

Image by @GildaAmbrosio

Have you ever stopped for a minute and thought about the relationships around you? I mean… really, took a second and pondered on them? What do they add to your life? How do they do so? What’s the flow and the dynamic of them? What’s special about each of those relationships to you? What are the things, that you truly cherish about your bond with the people you love and how does that impact you?

If all of these questions seem a little random to you, and you’re thinking, Cloé, why would I look at my relationships this way? Why would I ask these questions? The answer is: because if you want to have meaningful and intentional relationships you have to have clarity. And to have clarity you have to ask questions; you have to self-reflect so you can deliberately choose to have a proactive role in the relationships around you. 

A big note here is: the questions should always go both ways. Perhaps the most important questions to ask, are the ones we ask ourselves about our role and what part we play in these exchanges. So, how are YOU in these relationships? What do you add to their lives? How do you impact them? How do you make them feel? What do these relationships bring out of you? Are you a better person? All relationships, whether they’re: friendships or partnerships in whatever shapes and nuances they exist in your life, are always, always, a two-way street.

So, it’s important to reflect on the flow and circulation of that same lane, from both sides and not just from your perspective.

And when you’ve taken that minute or that second and decided to be really intentional with your relationships and the people you love the most. Keep choosing them, keep putting yourself out there. Keep nurturing the people that are part of your life and own it, own all of it.  Make sure you practise accountability by recognising the effects your behaviours have on the person on the other side of that street…accountability develops trust and pushes relationships forward. It improves communication and promotes an honest and vulnerable exchange, which immediately makes me think of Brené Brown when she said that ‘vulnerability is the key to cultivating deeper more meaningful relationships.’

So, don’t forget to take off your ‘shield’ when you show up in these relationships, with these people you’re choosing. Don’t be scared to be vulnerable, open and to own all that you pour into each other.

Be intentional with your tribe, be there, truly be present every time. Don’t take the time you have with the people that are part of your life for granted, remind yourself not to forget that and keep practising gratitude both when you’re with them and when you’re not. Whether it’s a quick exchange or the privilege of more time and experiences together, make sure you’re cherishing the time you have with them, as that is without a question, the biggest luxury in this life.

Always show up to any interaction with the ones you love intentionally!

And, don’t forget. Two-way street, so that also goes for how you show up with yourself.