Written by Cloé Vaz-Wiggins
Image by @teairawalker
The first article I ever wrote for It’s a Lifestyle Hun was about the concept of choosing yourself and my unwavering belief that it’s not a selfish act but actually the starting point to a healthy relationship with yourself, others and the foundation you need to create a lifestyle that enhances the life you want to live.
It was also the turning point on my personal journey of flirting with the concept and actually beginning to embody it in a transversal and intentional way. I wrote it at a time when I truly started practising it in a conscious and growingly effortless way.
As I sit here to write this article, thinking of the year that is passing and the start of this new one almost upon us, I can wholeheartedly say, I hope that wherever you are in your journey of choosing yourself, you take it into 2023 as your highest priority.
The path of creating the infrastructure of what it looks like to choose yourself will look different for you than it does for me. The sooner you decide that you want to, the sooner you can get to the business of making it happen. That will only bring you closer to who you truly are, better the relationships you participate in – with yourself and others – and the important contribution you have on this earth.
And yes, it is that deep. Not sure for how long we can keep ignoring, or downplaying the real fact that the world is not in a very good place right now. Global warming is a real thing whether we want to admit it or not, we’re less and less satisfied as a community, more isolated from each other and ultimately not being very kind and compassionate to each other as a result. Not to mention the wars, protests, executions and corruption that is still very much present across the boards. So yeah, it is that serious.
Choosing yourself is actually one of the most selfless acts. When we decide that the biggest project we can dedicate time, effort and energy to is ourselves, we decide to be better human beings. We’re kinder and more compassionate to ourselves and in turn to others. We care about what we consume, how we talk, what we put out in the world, what we associate ourselves with and how we connect with each other. We are open and vulnerable, and end up realising that that’s the key, that there’s no meaningful and powerful connections between us – ourselves and others – without that mindset and conscious attitude. Choosing ourselves, makes us grow. We learn, we fail and we keep trying; we keep learning and stay evolving.
And that’s the true beauty of choosing yourself, when you’re better for yourself, you’re better for your family, your friends, at work, in your community, in your city, in your country and yes, the world.
What a perfect time to take on this new energy and instead of getting a bunch of resolutions, focus on yourself. Get back to yourself. Visualise the life that will truly fill your spirit and the kind of human being you want to be and get to work.
I’ll leave you with a few suggestions of some concepts and topics you could consider going into 2023 and the ones you should definitely leave in 2022.
To leave in 2022:
– Comparing yourself and your journey to anyone other than yourself.
– Attaching your identity only to what you do.
– Not creating time for yourself and feeling like you’re on the verge of burnout constantly.
– Self-doubt, any words like: can’t, cannot, not capable, not to me.
– Bad nutrition, sleep and not moving your body.
– Don’t be around people that dim your light.
– Fear as an impediment to what you want to do.
– Speak to yourself and others in a degrading and disrespectful manner.
– Not having a plan and a routine for your personal life, the relationship with yourself and the ones closest to you.
– Being defensive and closed off.
– Blaming other people for everything that happens.
To adopt in 2023:
– Rituals that enhance your relationship with yourself, focus on self-love.
– Good nutrition, moving your body, stretching and focusing on your sleep.
– If someone is not choosing you, stop chasing them.
– Have an unwavering belief that you can do anything you set your mind to, you’re the key, believe it.
– Realise there’s no finish line in choosing and taking care of yourself, keep doing it, even when you’re tired.
– Read and write more.
– Spend more time with people that lift you up and empower you.
– Connect with your gut, listen, focus on what it’s telling you.
– Speak kindly and respectfully to yourself and others.
– Focus on routines, rituals and habits that get you closer to the life and relationships you envision.
– Don’t be scared to be open and vulnerable, just choose it and face it head on.
– Go to therapy.
– Practice accountability.
– Saying WE, more than you say I.