6 signs you need to take a break from dating apps

26 April, 2023 / words by IALH Editorial Team

Written by Kelle Salle

Image via Pinterest

I was single for two years when I decided to give dating apps a try and nothing could have prepared me for what the experience had to offer. Online dating was full of ups and downs – one minute everything was great and the next, I was right back to square one. Putting myself out there was daunting enough without worrying about unmatching, failed talking stages and bad dates. It was hard to stay optimistic when the outcomes had started to become so predictable. Online dating requires a lot of resilience because there will be moments when you feel like you’re losing your patience. You also need to be mindful of what you are looking for in a potential partner. If you’ve started to become overwhelmed by online dating, it might be time for you to take a break. Keep reading for the most common signs.

1) You aren’t enjoying it

Dating should be fun and that includes online dating. Yes, you will spend a lot of your time scrolling and talking to people you’ve matched with, but you should feel like you’re getting something from the experience. As you date, you’ll get to know yourself better, so if you’ve reached a point where you are constantly complaining about dating or find that it just isn’t as fun as it used to be, then it might be time to take a step back. Think about what you liked or disliked about online dating and what you could do differently next time.

2) You don’t know why you’re dating

A lot of people who are dating don’t know why they’re doing it. They’ve put themselves out there because they feel like it’s the right thing to do. If you are looking for the one, dating with purpose is so important. When you don’t date with purpose, you’ll date anyone and that will set you back on your search because you’ll likely give in to the first person who takes an interest in you. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that everyone is dating because they’re looking for the one – some people want open relationships or short-term relationships or something casual. So know your ‘why’ before someone defines it for you!

3) You’re not over your ex

Everyone deals with break-ups differently. Some people take time to heal while others want to start dating straight away. While there’s nothing wrong with both approaches, you’ll need to be mindful of the type of person you are attracting if you’ve decided to move on quickly. If you are looking for someone who is the complete opposite of your ex or you find yourself matching with (and even dating) people who are exactly like your ex, you might need some more time to heal.

4) It’s starting to affect your mental health and wellbeing

Imagine this. You’ve been talking to someone on a dating app for a few days. The conversation is flowing and you feel like it’s only a matter of time before they ask you out on a date, but when you check the app the next day, you discover you’ve been unmatched. Although unmatching is a two-way street, it can have an impact on your mental health and wellbeing. It’s normal to feel down when you’re in a bit of a dating rut, but if it’s having somewhat of a permanent impact on your mood, it might be time to reconsider.

5) You’re constantly checking the apps

We all know how easy it is to get addicted to certain apps and dating apps are no exception. If you can’t start your day without swiping left or right or updating your prompts, then it might be time for a break. Meeting your partner online is more common than ever, so it’s normal to hope that your person could be on an app too, but they might not be. The right person for you might not even be in this country, so keep an open mind as you date and try not to let the apps become the be-all and end-all.

6) You’re not being yourself

Dating is all about building connections. It requires a level of vulnerability and discernment. If you feel like you can’t be yourself, then don’t date at all. When you feel like you need to be someone other than who you are, you won’t be able to enjoy the experience, whether you decide to see that person again or not. Being vulnerable is hard especially if it’s something you have struggled with. If you find it difficult to be vulnerable, take a moment to think about your best qualities. Once you know what you bring to the table, you’ll be able to show up as your authentic self and enjoy dates.


IALH Editorial Team


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