How to know if its love or lust

16 August, 2023 / words by IALH Editorial Team

Written by Cloé Vaz-Wiggins

Image via Pinterest

If someone asked you, how many times have you been in love? Could you answer clearly? How about, how many times have you been in lust? Could you still answer clearly? Is there any person that comes to mind that you have to think twice about?

Was it love? Or was it desire?

The line between love and lust can sometimes feel as thin as a tightrope, leaving us questioning our emotions and intentions. Are we tripping? Are we imagining all of it? Or is it really happening. Understanding the fundamental differences between these two powerful forces is crucial for navigating relationships with clarity and authenticity.

Understanding the Difference Between Lust and Love

Lust and love are intense emotions, often intertwined, yet stemming from distinct psychological and emotional origins. Lust is a primal, physical attraction, driven primarily by desire and often accompanied by infatuation. It tends to focus on the surface qualities of a person – their appearance, sensuality, and allure. On the other hand, love is a complex blend of emotional connection, companionship, and genuine care. It delves into the depths of a person’s character, forming a bond that transcends the superficial.

Signs of Love

Emotional Intimacy: Love fosters emotional openness, allowing partners to share their fears, dreams, and vulnerabilities without judgment.

Empathy and Support: Genuine concern for each other’s well-being and an unwavering willingness to provide emotional support during tough times.

Respectful Communication: Effective communication and active listening demonstrate mutual respect and a desire to understand each other’s viewpoints.

Commitment: A strong commitment to growth and shared future goals, symbolising a willingness to invest time and effort.

Longevity: Love often endures beyond the initial rush, evolving into a deeper, more profound connection over time.

Signs of Lust

Physical Attraction: A primary focus on the physical appearance and sexual chemistry, overshadowing emotional connection.

Short-Term Focus: Lust is often characterized by a desire for immediate gratification, without long-term plans or commitments.

Limited Emotional Connection: While some emotional connection may exist, it is generally shallow and centered around the physical aspect.

Jealousy and Possessiveness: Lust can trigger jealousy and possessiveness due to the intense physical attraction.

Fleeting Nature: Lust tends to be intense in the moment but lacks the endurance and depth of love.

Can Lust Become Love?

The transformation from lust to love is possible, it requires time, shared experiences, and genuine emotional connection. As a relationship matures, the initial sparks of lust can evolve into a deeper appreciation for one another’s personalities, values, and aspirations. However, it’s important to note that not all instances of lust transition into love. Some connections may remain purely physical without blossoming into a profound emotional bond. Because in the end, both people involved have to be on the same page.

Unravelling the intricacies of love and lust involves self-awareness, open communication, and patience. Recognising the signs of each emotion empowers us to navigate relationships with greater clarity. While lust and love may initially blur together, the journey of transformation from one to the other is a testament to the complexity and beauty of human emotions.


IALH Editorial Team


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