What to do if you fall out with your partner on your first holiday together

4 December, 2023 / words by Nancy Lova

A first trip as a couple is an exciting milestone in any relationship. It’s a chance to put aside the outside noise like work and responsibilities and be present in your love. You get to bond, be as romantic as you can be and most importantly get to know each other for better but sometimes, for worse. I love travelling with my partner especially within the early stages as vacations are a great way to test the waters and see how compatible you two truly are but unfortunately disagreements and arguments occur so it’s helps to know what to do if you fall out with your partner on your first holiday together. 


Make a plan of action

It’s pure bliss when both partners are on the same page even more so when abroad yet trips often uncover a difference in opinions and habits. One is an early bird, the other is a late riser, you may like to soak up the culture through museums yet your partner prefers lounging by the pool. Before you start to question whether the two of you are meant to be because you’re struggling to come to agreement, a simple plan of action catering to all wants and needs allows you both to compromise, hear each other out and install balance throughout your time away. You could allocate a day or morning for all of your interests and then the afternoon for whatever your partner would like to do. 


Forget being a tourist and enjoy each other 

Whilst the intention of going on holiday together is to get close and have fun, the excitement of visiting somewhere new can take over meaning we can lose sight of what’s important and put too much focus on seeing as much as possible. From wanting to spend time together to satisfying the desperate urge of fulfilling an itinerary, priorities have become a shambles. 

Yes you want to immerse yourself into the destination however filling up all of your days with a vast amount of activities will eventually have one you feeling more like a tag along and less important. If this is the reason to your fighting then I say forget being a tourist and just enjoy each other. Early starts to do all that you can doesn’t have to happen each day but enjoy a lie-in with breakfast in bed one morning instead. Don’t rush to visit landmarks for the sake of ticking them off a list but indulge in leisurely walks with ice cream, holding hands or stopping off for coffee. 


Take some time out 

Being in each other’s space constantly can cause conflict particularly if you’ve been single for a while and grown accustomed to living life on your own terms. Of course, the whole point of having a first holiday together is to connect, not every waking moment has to be spent jointly though. If bickering has started and arguments are brewing, take some time out. Your partner could perhaps use the gym at the hotel or go for a run whilst you relax at the spa.


Organise something exciting 

Restore peace and harmony by organising an activity outside of the norm, an activity you may have not done before and the two of you are excited to experience. How about salsa dancing?Underwater diving or paragliding? A more relaxed option may be what you and your partner need such as a couples massage, wine tasting or renting a boat. Whatever it is, having a new activity to look forward to can take your mind off of any conflict to the point where you wonder what you even fought about.  


Leave them to it 

Disagreements are perfectly normal and even healthy at times but arguing constantly is not and sadly it can take a trip to realise a lack of compatibility. I’ve been there where no matter what approach you take or how hard you try to reason with your partner, nothing works. Do you cancel the trip and stay in your room until it’s time to go home? Nope! If they’re being stubborn, no longer want to go anywhere, avoiding being around you or the arguments are nonstop then surrender, hun. Throw your hands up and leave them to it. You might choose to work things out when you return home but in the meantime, live your best life abroad and go solo! Go sightseeing, book a tour, make a reservation for one, do whatever you can to enjoy the rest of your trip and focus on you. Whatever else is meant to be, will be. 


Nancy Lova


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